Week1

So my first full week of being a woman is over. I've learnt a hell of a lot in such a short span of time but I still feel like I'm only just scratching the surface. I've picked up some clothes, jewellery and a handbag, and gotten my eyebrows done, but there's still so much more I have to do about my wardrobe, it's a bit daunting. The biggest thing though is the talk of hormones with some friends of mine. I met them for coffee yesterday and had a good talk about the different types of drugs to take, how to take them, and what the effects (and side-effects) will be. I'll be seeing the doctor soon to talk about them but in the mean time I aim to learn as much as possible, to make an informed decision, before I get started. For the sake of not sounding like an idiot, I wont mention the specifics just yet until i get a better grasp on things.

Suffice to say, it really does sound like most of things that cause me anxiety in my day to day life will be fixed, and my overall mood should improve. If you know me at all, you know I'm a very pessimistic person, always looking for problems and complaining about the shape of the world. Men do this, mainly because men don't like to be seen as weak and girly and talk to eachother about their problems. Okay some of my friends help, but overall I think the female mind is more willing to offer help in times of crisis and band together when things go wrong. I have absolutely no idea what will happen to my mental state but at this point anything is an improvement over the crippling anxiety I face when I get out of bed each and every day.

At this point in time, besides the visit to the doctor, I'm aiming on some more shopping trips (new glasses and shoes are first up) and my friend has offered to have a girls night at her house and show me some clothes and makeup that I can try. I'm already excited about my first real girls night and I can't wait to get all done up and try on some clothes without having to worry about the general public watching me. I'm also making some new friends at work who have trans people in their lives, and this is another great bit of help as my network grows ever larger, with people offering support and help from everywhere.

Finally I will say, to my closest friends, I'm sorry if I'm a bit hard on you about slipping up with pronouns. I'm still annoyed at the general public calling me "sir" and "mister" and it really grinds me down sometimes. I understand I've only been out for a week and it will take some time to get used to the change. Thankyou for being there for me and understanding my frustration, I wouldn't be able to do this without you all.